Desna and her nail crew are prepared to take a spin at being on line casino house owners as Claws returns for Season 3… however did all of them survive the premiere?
We choose up the place we left off, with Virginia stepping in entrance of Desna and taking a bullet from a thriller shooter on a bike. Desna rushes a badly wounded Virginia to the hospital, the place Dean frets (in typical Dean style) that she has a “23.eight % likelihood of dying.” Desna doesn’t know who tried to kill her, however she duties Curler with discovering out. In the meantime, Jenn and Bryce are having bother becoming in up in Tampa — a brand new pal advises Jenn to tone down her nails: “They’re just a bit city” — and Polly is fortunately taking part in dominos at a psychological well being facility. Plus, we see a thriller couple plotting in opposition to Desna contained in the on line casino: a longhaired previous dude and a youthful blonde lady sucking on an oxygen masks. We are saying this loads whereas watching Claws, however… WTF?
The medical doctors inform Desna that Virginia will likely be positive, however she did require a corneal transplant from, um, “an aged reiki healer.” (Yeah, file that one away for later.) Curler confronts Clay, who’s now sleeping within the deserted strip-mall Jewish heart, however Clay insists he had nothing to do with the capturing. That bandana-clad jerk Clint, although, says that “karma’s a bitch.” (Hmmm.) Listening to about Virginia, Polly decides to escape the power and go see her — however whereas she’s dangling a number of tales up from a rope manufactured from tied-up bedsheets, a nurse informs her she’s in a voluntary facility and she will be able to simply stroll out the entrance door anytime she desires. OK, then!
In order that bizarre couple from the start? They’re Max and Melba Lovestone, co-owners of the on line casino, they usually hand Desna a test for 50 grand to purchase out her share… however she tells Ann, “They’re not eliminating me this simple.” Curler tracks the Lovestones to a tent within the woods, the place they’re torturing some poor lady with a white-hot poker. (Once more: WTF?!) Virginia lastly wakes up, and the ladies current her with a bedazzled eye patch that makes her look “like a sexual pirate” — and Dean is in search of revenge on whoever shot her, grabbing Desna’s gun and dead-set on proving he can “shield his woman.” However Virginia blissfully tells him that “all the things occurs for a motive.” She’s appearing all cosmically Zen with this new eye of hers.
Desna and Curler discover the lady the Lovestones have been torturing, who seems to be the accountant who handles all their cash laundering. They actually lowballed Desna with that test: They’re truly laundering $2 million every month from the on line casino. That makes Desna suppose they tried to kill her to reduce her out, however Clay pronounces he is aware of who pulled the set off: It was Clint, who didn’t like that Desna wouldn’t reduce a take care of the Hussers. Clay’s boy toy Toby confirms it was Clint, and Curler will get some avenue justice by working over Clint together with his automotive and dumping his useless physique within the swamp. Drawback solved, proper?
Properly, possibly not. Desna assembles her nail crew — together with Virginia, who’s turn out to be a wisdom-dispensing sage since she bought her new eye — to inform them she’s protecting her on line casino stake and wishes their assist in claiming what’s hers. She confronts the Lovestones about their cash laundering and calls for half of their month-to-month take to hold quiet, and once they refuse, she tells them she’s their new enterprise associate, then… and the nail crew celebrates with a full-on dance quantity set to En Vogue’s “Free Your Thoughts.” (By no means change, Claws.) However wait! There’s one ultimate twist: We be taught that it was truly Toby who took that shot at Desna… and Uncle Daddy remains to be nursing a grudge in opposition to her.
Alright, Claws followers, it’s your flip: Give the Season 3 premiere a grade in our ballot, and hit the feedback together with your ideas.